When the announcement of New.F.O‘s invasion plan was revealed to the public, skepticism levels across the internet skyrocketed. New.F.O’s credibility was shot down, and as this site has noted, most of it came from the pompous promotion tactics and the infamously poor track record of the group’s international promoters – allkpop.
Despite my own personal misgivings about the group, and being the gracious man that I am, I withheld from passing judgement on New.F.O until they released their first serving of music, because that’s honestly all that fucking matters to me.
As many of you already know, New.F.O dropped their first single this week, “Bounce“, so let’s take a look at how it turned out.
The girl group itself follows an extraterrestrial concept that is quite clever – or at least as clever as K-pop can get. As such, to have a successful rookie debut, all New.F.O had to do was deliver a song that was so out of this world that all the haters would have to concede an iota of respect to the girls because they would have no other choice. Instead, New.F.O proved themselves to be nothing more than excruciatingly mundane.
There isn’t a drop of musical value worth salvaging here. These kind of loud and over-processed pop songs strive to be the next earworm, but “Bounce” couldn’t be farther from understanding how those work. At the very least, a decent pop song is catchy, melodious, and repeatable.
New.F.O’s single forgot all three.
No matter how alien you want to be, the common man has to be able to whistle along and tap his feet to a proper pop tune because that’s what pop music is designed for. Even LMFAO knows that much. C’mon now.
Vocally, New.F.O are all over the place, yet nowhere at the same time. Their style is taken out of the4minute handbook (2009 Edition) and followed to a T. This style of vocals buries New.F.O even farther into the recesses of my “Don’t Bother” archives because I don’t need another one of those in my K-pop.
In short, they sound terrible.
In a way, this disappoints me because I would have actually rooted for them if they managed to blow minds. At least it would have proven that the people behind allkpop have solid taste in music and that they’re not just in this for the promotion contract like we all think. As I voiced on Twitter:
“Dear New.F.O, make me care.“
So far, they’re making me do the opposite.
via Asian Junkie
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